I know all of you spent the weekend getting too shitfaced to stand up straight, let alone preserve the memory of my last post regarding KFM. So let me refresh your memory: Kill Fuck Marry has been around since the dawn of Mankind and El Tigre is the spawn of retards. That’s about it.
Now that we have gone through my thorough refresher of last week’s post regarding the History of KFM, I am gonna drop some more knowledge for all you wannabe bros out there. This post is devoted entirely to the strategy behind the game KFM.
I am going to break this down in the most simple way that I can as I like to keep my posts short and sweet. We are going to evaluate “Kill” “Fuck” and “Marry” individually and deliberately to fully understand the implications and opportunities that come with each option.
KILL
Now this is by far the most straightforward option in the game. The kill option should be used for one of two scenarios – for a girl that you genuinely hate, or just the girl that doesn’t make the “fuck” or “marry” cut. In one game, it might be understandable for you to kill a perfectly attractive individual because she just isn’t as hot as the girl you would fuck or as domesticated as the girl you would marry. Don’t get down on yourself for choosing to kill a hot/nice female – who you choose to kill is 70% a result of the other 2 people, rather than the girl herself.
FUCK
This brings me to the most complicated section of the game. Without a doubt, the girl you choose to fuck can be for a variety of reasons that I could never dream to cover in a single blog. So I am just going to convey my one and simple rule to all you schmeebs reading my blog right now: when confronted with a game of KFM, just be prepared to justify your decision of who to engage in coitus with. Whether it be a hate fuck or you decide to bang your ex’s best friend to get back at her – there are a variety of reasons why you would want to fuck a girl. Just be prepared to defend your assertion. If given a choice to fuck a really hot girl who sucks (not even in a cool way) or a girl who is decently attractive but really cool – I personally am a big believer in hate fucking the shit out of the hot bitch. Let some other dickbrain kill her.
But before I go on to “marry,” I feel as though I need to make a disclaimer about what I mean by “hate fuck.” I am not talking about beating a girl up while bumping uglies; rather, hate fucking is about demoralization. Spray your boner juice in her eye. That’s always a great go to. But be creative. There isn’t one defined way to hate fuck, just go with your instincts.
Marry
This one is more complex than you may think. You gotta take into consideration all the things that go into a marriage: finances, sex (you would have to have sex with this broad a few times at the very least), domestication, and general personality. My ideal “marry” candidate is someone who I can make me a grilled cheese while simultaneously giving me a blumpkin and raking in some money from the trust fund her parents set up for her. Unlike the other two categories, for me, this requires the most well-rounded candidate. You can fuck a deaf, dumb, and blind chick who happens to be very hot. You can kill a hot chick who is a total bitch. But to marry a girl, you truly have to take a combination of factors into consideration. In my experience playing this game, I have found that most guys seem to have a set group of females that exemplify the traits for the “marry” category. Even though I’m not trying to tie the knot anytime soon, I’ve got a solid 4 or 5 women that go into the “marry” category 95% of the time that they are in the game.
In summation, “Kill Fuck Marry” isn’t just about making the hottest girl “F,” the “nice girl” “M,” and the ugly one “K.” Its about making a decision that defines you. Take this game seriously. Your father, your fathers father, and your fathers fathers before him played this game and they played it with pride. Unless you are a Tard. Then your ancestors just sat in the corner and drooled while the real bros talked about doing the horizontal tango.
Trust me, I’m a Doctor.
-Dr. Red
P.S. – Sometimes you should consider letting Tards play KFM with you. It can be fun to see what kind of fucked up logic these dickbrains come up with. Great example: El Tigre would rather fuck a dude than marry a girl that won’t lick his butthole.
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