Homeless or Retarded?

Mr. Froman's earlier post analyzing the "Would you rather shart or vomit randomly?" sent me on a tangent of "would you rather" scenarios. One presented to me by a friend of me warrants further analysis. He asked, "Would you rather be homeless or retarded?"Before we move forward, I want to present the conditions for both scenarios. Homeless, in the context of this article, refers to the following conditions:

1. Lacking a home
2. Living in an urban area
3. Having a few homeless friends
4. Being of average intelligence
5. Being largely unaware of the benefits of having lots of money. I understand all homeless people probably wish they had a home, but they also probably don't realize all of the smaller benefits of being wealthy.

And for retarded, the conditions are as follows:

1. Being far below average intelligence
2. Having a home and all of the benefits of a completely normal upbringing
3. Having friends of normal intelligence
4. And, for those of you who have family members or relatives who are actually mentally challenged, as I do, this is not about them. Its about that "retarded" friend everyone has.

As we go on, I will be referencing my retarded friend in order to present my argument. From here on out, my retarded friend will be referred to as "El Tigre."

Under the aforementioned conditions, I think both being homeless and being El Tigre have their various pros and cons. As for being homeless, the cons are rather obvious. First, you are without a home. Second, you see people on a daily basis more well off than you. The benefits of being homeless, though, are more surprising. Being homeless would mean a lack of any sort of unnecessary material possession. While this seems like a negative, I think that a homeless person is far more appreciative and understanding of the blessings of life. Also, as I mentioned before, homeless people are generally unaware of the finer things in life. Ignorance is bliss.

El Tigre, though retarded, does lead the life of a normal person. Because of his upbringing, he can go to college, have friends, and get a job. All of these things seem to overwhelming tip the scale in El Tigre's favor. In the same way, however, that a homeless person consistently sees more well off individuals and is reminded of their poor socioeconomic status, El Tigre is surrounded constantly by those more intelligent, and is reminded of his poor intellectual standing within society. Therefore both El Tigre and the homeless man experience similar self-depreciating effects as a result of just living.

El Tigre does come with additional cons though. While most people wouldn't insult a homeless person for being homeless, many people, in fact most people, will insult El Tigre for being stupid. This, on top of the constant recognition of more intelligent life forms around him, can make life even tougher for El Tigre than a homeless person. Now, accounting for the fact that El Tigre has a normal life and family to fall back on, I think that the negative mental impacts of social interactions between El Tigre and a homeless person are about equal. In addition, if El Tigre happened to walk by a homeless person holding a sign that said "Need money for food" while reading a newspaper, El Tigre might realize that even the homeless man can read and write, causing the scales of social happiness to tip toward our homeless friend.

Going back to the point I made earlier, though, for most homeless people ignorance is bliss. While aware they are homeless, they are generally unaware of the many small spoils of the wealthy life, and for that reason it doesn't particularly upset them. El Tigre, though, while presented with all of the many finer things in life, may struggle to gain the same appreciation for them as his friends of average intelligence.  This could lead to a whirlpool of self-loathing and the inability to even coexist with others of normal intelligence,  or even the sprouting of an unsightly cowlick.

Also, the living accomodations of a homeless person vary greatly by geographical location. While this can be a negative or a positive, the downsides of being retarded impact El Tigre regardless of location. A homeless person can escape the cold, but El Tigre can't escape his intellectual inferiority.

For this reason, I would choose to be homeless instead of retarded. The ability to read, write, comprehend ideas, communicate with others, and close doors, for me, presents a more fulfilling life than one filled with jokes going over my head, people wondering how I got where I did in life, and generally not really having idea or appreciation for what the fuck is going on.