The Transition Game

Morning Gents,

It's been a while since I've decided to paint a canvas of knowledge on here for all the reliable bros, and puny chumps that come to Pukey for all things right with the world. Btw, if you do one of the following 3 things please stop reading immediately and go to www.internshipsurvivalguide.blogspot.com

1) Watch the "Big Bang Theory"
2) Use the term "Besties"to describe your friends, or in fact, use it at all
3) Use instagram because it makes brings out the sheltered artist inside of you

Alright, now that we have that cleared up, I'd like to hit you all with a topic thats very near and dear to my heart, as I'm sure it will be to many of you soon enough: a transition into the real world. Flying high off the best 6 months of my life that included multiple drinking vacations featuring a beach, minimal responsibilities, and spending every moment with my best friends enjoying the simple things in life like the taste of a nice toll-house cookie after some adventures with green technology or a nice fresh big whiskey on a hot summer day I can say that I was a bit depressed about graduating college, the most bro-friendly place on earth. My depression quickly subsided the first month of summer: I don't begin work until next week, and, although I couldn't quite live the same college dream at home, I made the best of a bad situation: waking up late, drinking early and often, enjoying the parental paid amenities of the country club snack bar and golf course. Aside from my Ma who occasionally got too cocky demanding outlandish things of me, like doing my own laundry or making myself lunch, I was able to stave off 'real world transition' depression a while longer, but that feeling's starting to set back in again as I pack my life away into boxes and prepare to become a slave to the man for the next 6 years of my life until I find a really wealthy wife who's Dad is fully prepared to bequeath all of his wealth to me.

Luckily, since I'm a bro, as are most of you assuming all the instagram users are now reading my retarded friends stupid website, we realize that as bros we take every situation with head-on since we're the smartest most intelligent people on earth and don't succumb to the sadness of depression related emotions unless it involves running out of beer before midnight or the retirement of your favorite professional athletes. Preparing to enter into the real world I've made myself a list of things to help make this transition less daunting, and I believe remembering these few simple points will help bros thrive in the real world just as they have college.

1) In the real world "coolness" especially amongst slam pieces now relates to how successful you are and not how many beers you can drink. Although at first this may seem daunting for bros, because well, we're the best beer drinkers in the milky way, we also have to remember that do to our personable characteristics, seamless connections, and incredibly intelligent qualities we are set up to be richer and more successful then all those chums who probably got better grades in us in high school and college at the expense of learning how the world really works outside a book.

2) Now that we have money you can pretty much pay anyone to do anything for you: Now, this is awesome. I'm going to put this pretty simply in terms of one of my least favorite tasks, laundry. First of all, everyone knows that laundry is generally a task reserved for girlfriends and moms, but, at college especially, us bros often find ourselves doing our own laundry. I know we've all been pushed to the limits, buying clothes when the hampers full just to stave off laundry for another day. Luckily, now that we're all working bros and have a shit ton of money, we can pay anyone to do anything for us, including laundry. This principle applies to just about everything. Realizing how nice it is to have an excess amount of cash flow thats all to yours, especially when you're in your young 20s and have very minimal expenses really opens up the world to you.

3) Girls are entering what I like to call, "The Second Coming." Last but not least, we have to dedicate some time to the second golden age for women, their early-to-mid 20s. If you really take close note in the progression of women, they really are at their finest right when they enter college. Not only are they fresh off the streets, but they haven't been exposed to four years of excessive drinking, minimal exercise, and late night eating so their figures are still in great shape. Although some girls are able to withstand the inevitable weight gain that girls experience in college most succumb to the pressures of late night dominoes. Thrust into the real world, probably with some job and lifestyle in Manhattan that their daddy bought for them, girls quickly lose weight and revert back to their pre-college form, only more mature and filled out looking, returning them to a golden age of good looks. They also start getting worried about being alone forever and are thus more likely to give it up easily for a few drinks at the bar. This is another thing bros transitioning to the real world can take solace in as they climb the next mountain in their lives.

I believe that if you keep these three simple things in mind anytime you may get a little nervous or unsettled about leaving college behind and writing a new chapter in your bible you'll be able to conquer any challenge thats out their waiting for you. Just like LeBron was able to make a seamless transition from highschool to the NBA, you'll be able to thrive in your life changes as well.


-Dicky Fuld